Wigan – The Difficulties of the Lone Football Blogger

So, in essence, we lost 2-1 to Wigan, We had 23 shots and they had six making their conversion rate one in three and ours, well, one in twenty three. This is the story of our season, along with injuries and terrible refereeing. While we can’t do a lot about the last two until we fix the finishing we will never be PLR. It really is as simple as that.

Can I flesh out more detail than that? Possibly, but what’s the point. Our passing ability and chance creation are there for everyone to see yet it seems to be beyond us to score more than one goal in any game. Besides, a blog with a single writer who is first and foremost a fan has its own problems. Let me explain.

Scene – The West Stand Upper Pre Match

My Generic Friend: Another pint?

Me: (thinks, I might have to write about this game tomorrow) Oh alright then. Go on. Buuuurrrp.

MGF: Have you seen the team?

Me: Nope. Remember no one’s phone works after 2pm. I doubt you’ve received any of the texts I sent you.

MGF: What texts?

Scene – The Amex press room

Andy Naylor has arrived and is plugging in his laptop. He is brought the team sheets in large font by a model clad in a bikini top and mini skirt, accompanied by a dwarf. Another minion has been dispatched to bring him pie and coffee. He begins to make copious notes in his luxury journalist’s notebook.

Scene – The West Upper. We are in our seats watching the game

My Generic Friend: Lovely tackle by Stephens there.

Me: Are you sure it was Stephens? Wasn’t it Orlandi? These yellow numbers on blue and white stripes are impossible to read.

MGF: Er, well, pretty sure. I suppose. Who’s number 14? It was him.

Me: 14 is Calderon who’s on the bench.

MGF: Are you 100% sure?

Me: No. That club text still hasn’t arrived.

Scene – the press room

Andy Naylor: Lovely tackle by Stephens there.

Fellow Journo: Are you sure it was Stephens? Wasn’t it Orlandi? These yellow numbers on blue and white stripes are impossible to read.

Andy Naylor: Er, pretty sure. On second thoughts it looked like number 14 who shouldn’t be playing.

Fellow Journo: Let’s just both agree it was Stephens. That way our reports won’t contradict each other.

Both journalists write ‘nice tackle by Stephens’ in their notebooks.

Scene – The West Upper. We are in our seats watching the second half

MGF: So we’ve agreed that Bruno is the baldie, Greer is the one with long socks, Kuszczak is the one in goal, Ince is the one running round like Patrick Viera and Ulloa is the only one who can score. And Ward is left back, right?

Me: Just left back. Calderon is the right left back. Anyone, we’re so desperate to claw this back that Orlandi’s playing left back at the moment.

MGF: Who’s the guy who can’t hold it up?

Me: Obika

MGF: Is he also the one who runs like Bambi skating?

Me: Yep

MGF: Who’s the bloke who didn’t bother challenging the keeper on that cross?

Me: Obika again.

(some time passes)

Me: GO ON! GET IN THERE! GREAT TURN. GET IT…..Oh. Bollocks.

MGF: Lovely run. Shame he rolled it straight to the keeper at the end.

Bloke in seat in front: Who was that?

The whole row behind: OBIKA!

Scene – after the game

A large, slightly frantic and very alcoholic circle has formed round the West Lower bar and the match’s deficiencies, today’s travel woes and the first pub in town to be visited are discussed over many beers. Meanwhile Andy Naylor is checking the NSC official match threads for posts by people who followed the game on Seagulls Player and slyly altering his notes.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s